Wake up Call.

Posted: May 17, 2013 by joshwinadrian in Uncategorized

All of my friends, High school buddies and other classmates had started graduating this summer, and I’m here still on my 4th year level. With 2 years of College left for me.  I’m not regretting this, cause I found some good friends along the way, it’s just that. What have I been doing in my life until now?

I was actually boggled by that question because of two or three more facts: (1) I have a fine body before, yeah, I really do. I can show off without having to worry about people looking at my body because it’s fine. But now, it’s like WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? I mean, I’m not conscious over my body, but I feel like I neglected it and let it be turn into this: Just a big circular thingy around my waist. Because of this, I had let go of many opportunities I have the right to have. I know I’m young, so I guess it’s not too late for me yet, but I can’t shake the feeling of discouragement. Even when I’m in the gym, I could feel all my remorse every time I pump weights, like when I see a guy with a good build I ask myself: “I wonder how much effort he put to get that body?” Frustrating. Pathetic, right? Well, it’s just me. ; (2) The many of them graduating thing. As I have said, many of my former classmates are now graduating and will now start their careers which many of which will progress to a successful tomorrow, and then there’s me. I’m still in my 4th year college, I know I’m taking up a really good course and the opportunities are endless, but still, I’m a 4th year college student. I wasted a year of my college life and now, I’m paying for the loss. I could have done so much in these years I lost. A lot.; (3)  They all look they had accomplished a very important part of their life and me, I’m here, Blogging. Stalking the Net. Doing crazy stuff as always. 

 

But as I have said, it’s not yet over for me. I’m still young, I can still do this. I have regretted these actions because of my own ridiculous way of living, but never for the people I met, the path I chose, the knowledge I gained. I am truly thankful for those. I remorse all those times wasted, but I guess, as I had heard in one movie, Time wasted isn’t time lost. We choose every moment we have because we want to. We never choose things half-assed. We choose to want it, we choose to regret what we want. That is all.I chose those moments, I may regret them now, but I chose them, it was all fun, I may have wasted some time, but because of those times I lost, I learned something. I learn the value of time, effort, and discipline. That there are no regrets and lessons learned. I am ready to face these new challenges in life, but not with a new upgrade.

 

I’m turning 20 this coming June. I’m not a teen anymore. I’m an adult. I have to start acting like one soon. It’s a gradual change, but at least I’m trying. This is my wake up call. I need to discipline myself. Learn self-control. Learn the right path. There are no more procrastination at this point in time. I have to start taking my future seriously if I want to have a good and successful one. I need to be healthy again. Be in shape. Be in good condition, because war is coming. and this will be some new hard core challenges. I need to discipline myself, my actions, my thoughts. No more slouching or just lazying around at home. It’s time to get things done. I hope my friends won’t take this seriously, but I have to seclude myself and start trusting on my own abilities. I have to lessen the quality time and start focusing myself to graduate. From now on, I’m aiming for the top. It will be a new and upgraded version of myself. Everything from here on out, every decision, is in my hands. Not with anyone else. 

 

So I guess, before I became 20 and all that, I need to enjoy the last moments I have as a 19-year old teen even though I’ll be changing things around me gradually. Truth is, I am happy, and I am willingly doing this for myself. It’s a matter of responsibility and a matter of self-improvement, so please respect my decisions. From now on, it’s version 2.0. Bringing my past self won’t do me any good anymore.

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Soon.

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